Sunday - Confession Time

Hello there my accountability partners. Have I got a story for you? This story begins with telling you that I have thought a couple times today about not blogging at all today. I have told myself that it is Sunday and no one will notice. Also, no one would think twice about me taking a night off. I have had to miss a day or two before. I have even said well there probably isn’t that many folks who even pay me any attention. However, my conscience would not let me just skip today. Why because today I was bad. So today I feel like I not only need to be real but I need to let you see that I am real. You see I have had too many people ask me how this was going; is it hard; & how do you do it for me not to tell you that today – I really didn’t do it very well. I have no desire to lie to anyone who may consider doing this diet or who may consider just trying to eat healthier. Today I just didn’t do well at all.


For starters, I was one of the children’s ministry team leaders heading up a breakfast fundraiser for church this morning. At first I had told Kevin that I was planning on eating a biscuit (tenderloin to be exact) and that I knew it wasn’t on our plan but today would be an exception. Then I realized we were going to dad’s house to eat lunch – there would have to be another exception. Then I remembered I was going to a bridal shower for the daughter of one of my oldest and best friends, who just so happened to be a wonderful cake baker. So I rearranged my plans and headed out with my apples and yogurt to church. Well when I got to church my friend with the tenderloin biscuits was in the kitchen fixing them and I helped her wrap them. Mistake number one. Well of course I talked myself right into one of them and it was DELICIOIS! Thanks Sonja!!!! It really was the best! Then I headed to lunch at my dad’s house. Kevin and I have already established that since we only eat there every other weekend that we would eat what dad cooks because he does this special for us and he LOVES having us over and doing it for us. Well the good thing is mom fixed turkey meatloaf because she knows we try to eat healthy. However, along with it came creamed potatoes and biscuits which I am proud to say I didn’t eat all of mine. The reason I didn’t eat all of mine is because the house smelled like the finest chocolate factory in the US. She was baking the most amazing molten chocolate peanut brownie lava cake thingy ever. I don’t know that I have ever had a dessert that my mother cooked as good as this one today. Kevin tried to help me out by “sharing” a piece with me. However, he wanted to rush and eat big bites. I wanted to eat very small bites and enjoy every minute. So I made mom cut me my own piece. Then of course later in the afternoon I went to the shower and wasn’t planning on eating anything. Then I realized my friend had in fact made the cake and I tried to get SAM to share a piece with me but she wouldn’t. So then I thought I will get a little piece and just eat a few bites. I should have thought about that a little longer because as soon as I picked it up I thought to myself if she sees me take 2 -3 bites of this and then throw it away (even though it is amazing) she will think I didn’t like it. Well I was not about to do that. I would not want her to ever be offended. So I left the shower feeling quite defeated with all those crazy comments that take over when I do what I don’t want to do. I know anyone who is reading this knows what this is like. The one that got to me the most was the thought, “Friday you had the most insane, crazy, busy day in a long time and you managed to eat right and exercise. Today you had nothing looming over your head other than the fundraiser and there was no pressure in that and you completely blew it.” A became defeated over a tenderloin biscuit and 2 pieces of cake. Then I started to remember a few of the things that I had read in the Made To Crave book. I couldn’t remember them word for word but there is this list of questions the author put in there to ask yourself when you feel like you had missed the mark. So I began to ask myself similar questions. The first and most important one I asked was “Did you run to any of those things today and eat them because you were stressed or looking for comfort?” Well of course my answer was “no.” Then I asked, “Do you really think that what you did today can’t be fixed by getting right back on track right now?” To which I also answered “no.” The more and more I thought about that voice that was telling me I would never succeed the more I realized that voice was not the Voice of Truth but it was really the voice of the deceiver and father of lies who wants me to believe that I am not worth anything and that I will never be able to accomplish anything. It is the voice who would love nothing more than for me to be defeated or for me to appear to others as fake because I didn’t post today that I ate cake. So today there are several things I have decided to do differently starting with I decided to believe in the things God calls me rather than the things the devil tries to accuse and defeat me with. I may not have been in direct tune with God while eating those things today but I can truly say I did not feel convicted by Him at any point. I didn’t hear Him once whisper to me “Tina, you know you shouldn’t.” I did hear Kevin say – you should share a piece of cake with me and may be that was my way out and I chose not to take it but nowhere did I feel conviction about any of it. It was only after all of it did I feel condemnation. So with all that being said I just want to come clean with anyone who is reading this that it is not always easy. There are days that we all fail. There are days when we all blow it. There are days when I don’t care how much planning you do it just doesn’t work out. However, on those days you just have to fall into the Grace that God alone can give you. Let Him remind you who you are and brush you off and stand you up again on your feet. I have got to – you have got to – we all have got to stop listening to the voice that says “you will never succeed”, “you aren’t worth it”, “go ahead and give up”, “go ahead and act like nothing happened” & “who cares anyway”. We have got to stop letting the enemy defeat us and knock us down or for that matter keep us down. We are Gods precious possessions that He loved so much even before the world was formed that He decided to send His son Jesus to this earth to die for us so we would not have to live apart from Him. We don’t need to let cake and biscuits or anything else make us feel unworthy of the gift that Jesus sacrificed everything to give us. So for me that meant being real right here before you and saying that I messed up. It also meant that I would do what I had to do to make sure the rest of my day was a success by staying on plan. I sure do hope me being real encourages some of you reading this to be real too. To really try in whatever way you decide to get healthy. To pick yourself up when you fall and listen to the voice of Truth. That would be the loving voice that corrects and never the condescending voice that nags and accuses. As soon as you hear that voice I challenge you to pick up your bible or go to a website like biblegateway.com and look up Psalms or Romans and check out what God has to say about your worth and value.

Have a blessed night!

Today’s meals: tenderloin biscuit, creamed potatoes, ½ biscuit, cabbage, broccoli & cheese, turkey meatloaf, chocolate divine cake, chocolate cake at the shower, yogurt, homemade turkey sausages (yes I took lean ground turkey meat and mixed in all the spices to make my own sausage w/out fat) and eggs, yogurt

Today’s exercise: cleaning - I know not much but it is all I got for today and I don’t usually do that on Sunday. (My hubby would probably say she doesn’t do much of that any day – but that is a whole other story.)


The plans of the hard working person leads to prosperity but everyone who is always in a hurry end up in poverty. Proverbs 21:5